Reflection of a lie
by BundyShoes
Summary: She wonders when she lost herself. Dasey-onesided Demily Trasey


She wonders when it happened.

You know….when she lost herself. When the ever perfect Casey McDonald fell on love with her ever _im_perfect _step_brother Derek Venturi.

She likes to think it was before Truman_ (carboncopied_**fake**_)_, but in her heart of minds, she knows it was at the wedding. The wedding that binded them together as family.

_-but not really because they would neverevernever be related. he would always be her __**step**__brother-_

She remembers even today what his catch phrase was. _What Derek Wants, Derek Gets_. And she'd always wondered if he wanted _this_. His keener _step_sister attracted to him. wanting him. needing him.

_-but she thinks not, and that this is just a fluke. a long overdue teenage rebellious streak that never quite found its way out of her system.-_

She remembers going through guys, always wondering what was wrong with her; why couldn't she stick with one; why couldn't one of them like her, be the one for her; why couldn't she be _good enough_ for them. And when she finally found the answer, she wanted to cry.

It was when she was with her new heartbreak-waiting-to-happen, Truman French. They were on the couch at her house_(__**his**__house)_ and she thinks he said something 'charming and witty', and he smirked. When she says 'smirks', she means 'tried to smirk'. It came out looking fake and forced and not like it just slipped onto his face like it was meant to be there and then it hit her. Why none of her relationships worked.

It wasn't what was wrong with _her_, but what was wrong with _them_. They didn't have brown reddish hair that even though it looked like just-rolled-out-of-bed messy, it really was natural. They didn't have deep brown eyes that could go from black anger to golden happiness then to smoldering mischievousness in a matter of seconds. They didn't have the quick wit, or the ability to lie through their teeth for good reason. They didn't have a soft spot for their youngest sister, the only person that could melt their heart. They didn't give her looks like she could be the dorkiest, most annoying person on the planet, and yet make her feel special and amazing for being herself. They didn't fight with her, or rile her up, just to keep her out of a funk. They didn't share those moments with her where no else existed, and they were _the only ones there_. They didn't have the ability to make her heart _soar_ and _swell_ and _**beat**_ so hard that it was a wonder it hadn't broken out of her rib cage yet.

They didn't have the name Derek Venturi.

_-after she had this epiphany, she promptly excused herself from the room and threw up in the bathroom-_

It's been three years since she last saw him; with her best friend on his arm wearing a white dress_(__**her**__whitedress)_ and him in a tux_(hewasabeautifultragedy)_

She stood where she never wanted to be, and watched what she never wanted to see, and when asked, she answered that they were happy tears, filled with joy for her friend and _step_brother.

She won't marry; because she's learned that she can't handle anymore lies. She won't be with _him_, because those special moments, the ones meant for just them_(the__**two**__ofthem)_, are for them_(__**her**__and__**him**__)_ now.

she still _sees_ him. she still _dreams_ of him. and she still _loves_ him.

but he's not _hers_.

And she still wonders when she lost herself.

* * *

first ever LWD fic. DASEY FOREVER! xD anyway, i just saw the episode Surprise! which is funny, cause i watched Truman's Last chance, then Futuritis, so in between the two, i was wonder how someone as smart as Casey's supposed to be got back together with _**scum**_ like Trollman. Seriously? And not to mention Demily. I mean come on! I dont like Demily for tWO reasons. One (Which is kinda obvious) is that Derek and Casey belong together. and the second reason? Sheldon is the only one for Emily. Does ANYONE remember him? you know....Sheldon Shlepper, the adorable dork that Emily was perfect with? Yea, i like Derek and Emily as friends, but not as a couple...

Anyway, got off track there. But this was kinda inspired by the horrible wreck that is the final episodes. My Dasey-addled brain kept dillusioning me to see, or think that what if when Casey caught them in the closet she'd feel jealous...or something like that, but i just rambled with this fic.

My author's note sucks, but i'm really tired. i just had some midterm exams, and i should be sturdying right now, but instead, im writing Dasey fanfics and reading Jalex fanfics (yea, that couple too ;P)

Soooooo, i hope you enjoyed this, hopefully i'll get my act together and write the rest of my Inkheart Megfinger fic.....and all the others i never finished.....^^;

R&R (but no flames, those are annoying little buggers)


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